Getting Sweaty with Your Clothes On: How to Write Action Scenes
By S.L. Armstrong

No matter what genre you write, eventually, you’ll find yourself staring down the barrel of an action scene. Maybe it’s a fight, maybe a chase scene, or maybe it’s just the race to get to the airport before the character’s one true love leaves them forever. Whatever the reason for it, the action scene is a fast-paced way to jump the tension level up in your story, and is a valuable tool to have in your writer’s toolbag. So, what I want to do is offer up a few tips on writing a thrilling and compelling action sequence.

The first way to create a sense of action and motion in your writing is to stick to short, direct sentences. Now is not the time for lengthy descriptions, weighty dialogue, or internal monologues. By using a series of short, almost choppy, statements, you create the illusion of speed. Consider the way sports commentators call a play-by-play:

“Adams passes to Barnett. Back to Adams. Back to Barnett. Barnett sets up the kick. A beautiful block by Carruthers! But Barnett picks it up. Back to Adams. Barnett. Adams. Adams with the kick. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!”

Now read the same scene written with more elaborate sentences:

“Adams passes the ball to Barnett, who passes it back to Adams. Now Adams passes to Barnett again. Barnett pauses for a moment and stares down the goalie. He’s taking his shot on the goal, but Carruthers, the goalie, leaps in the ball’s path and knocks it away! Barnett chases the ball down and regains control. Now, he passes it to Adams again, but Adams quickly returns the pass to Barnett. Once more, Barnett kicks the ball to Adams. Now it’s Adams lining up for a shot on the goal. He kicks, and the ball slips past Carruthers and into the net!”

Both scenes describe the exact same series of actions, but how much more tedious was the second set than the first? It feels like a much more sedate game. Similarly, the length of your sentences helps to set the pace of your scene. At the same time, though, make sure you include some slightly longer moments that allow your reader to catch their breath, especially if the action continues for more than a few paragraphs. Otherwise, your reader could get too overwhelmed by everything that’s happening and completely lose the thread of the scene.

A second way to ratchet up the tension in your action scene is through the use of dynamic verbs. This would be one of the few good times to lean a little on your thesaurus. Move beyond the standard action verbs into truly active verbs. Look at these two sentences:

GOOD: John McClane ran into the street and jumped onto the hood of the car.
BETTER: John McClane raced into the street and threw himself onto the hood of the car.

As above, the two statements are saying the same thing, but the second uses more visually dynamic verbs. John’s need to catch that car feels more palpable, more visceral, simply because of the choice of words. A six-year-old on a playground runs and jumps; using strong, active verbs ensures that the reader assigns much greater importance to John’s mission than that. On the other hand, you don’t want to delve too deeply into your thesaurus, or too often, or else the constant barrage of flowery verbs can wear down your reader’s patience:

TOO MUCH: John McClane galloped into the street and catapulted onto the hood of the car.

Finally, if you’re having difficulty describing the action sequence unfolding in your mind, don’t be afraid to get out of your chair and act it out! Sometimes, the best way to work out the dynamics of a scene is to physically act them out yourself, and then write that down. Pay attention to the way your body reacts to certain movements. It could be that the way you see it mentally just isn’t the way a body is capable of actually moving!

Keep these tips in mind, and in no time, your action scenes will keep your reader furiously turning the page, anxious for what happens next!

Where you can find S.L. Armstrong:
Website: http://www.slarmstrong.net/
Twitter: @_slarmstrong
Publisher: http://www.stormmoonpress.com/

Today is my turn to blog over at Slash & Burn. With all the recent drama
behind the gay romance genre, I thought I would post something positive.
Stop by the blog, tell me why you love M/M, and you’ll be entered to win
a free ebook. I hope to see you all there.

http://slash-and-burn.blogspot.com/2010/08/oh-drama.html

Today I’m guest blogging over at Adriana Kraft’s online home about CON.TXT. If you have a minute, make sure you swing by and say hello. http://adrianakraft.com/2010/06/25/guest-blog-amanda-young/

Sometimes even a hero needs someone to save him.

 Mark Connor doesn’t feel like a hero even though he served two tours in Vietnam and survived a vicious ambush that took the lives of all but a handful of men. But he lost his best friend and lover, and now he refuses to be close to anyone. That makes his instant attraction to Josh a real problem.

 Josh Myers hires on with Mark to help him with a remodeling job. A survivor himself of a Beirut bombing, he embraces life with open arms. But he can’t get his new flame to take an interest in love, in life, or in himself.

 Alone in the northern Outer Banks in January, Mark clings desperately to his past, even as Josh offers him a future he doesn’t think he deserves.

You can buy the ebook HERE!

Excerpt

Lighting up a cigarette, Mark leaned back against the countertop, staring out over the dunes to the steel-gray ocean. The wind was tearing it up, the waves at least eight to ten feet high as the surf crashed on shore. It had been raw outside when he took his pre-dawn run, the bitter cold snatching his breath away. Studying the slate colored skies, Mark figured it would turn to sleet later on.

The coffee was almost ready, so Mark fished the biggest mug out of the cabinet. It was black with a yellow smiley face, which he couldn’t care less about. That it held a fucking lot of coffee in one pour, now that he could get behind. He started to reach for the pot when Josh made his entrance.

Mark stared as the younger man came down the stairs, scrubbing his face before running both hands through his long hair. He yawned, walking across the great room, wearing nothing but a pair of dog tags and white socks, his personality bobbing between his legs with each step he took.

Well, sweet fucking Christ, the guy was a helluva sight. Yesterday, the oversized tie-dyed t-shirt and baggy carpenter’s jeans along with the bulky flannel jacket had done a fine job of hiding most of Josh’s rather spectacular attributes. He was tall and long-limbed, but, Mark couldn’t help but notice how ripped he was. Well-defined arms, flat stomach, not a body builder but what Mark called “working man” shape, a body earned with sweat.

And damn, Mark had to admit, the guy was hung, out there for anyone to see.

Josh tripped over the ottoman, swearing as he regained his balance. Mark narrowed his eyes, taking the cigarette out of his mouth. Josh walked into the kitchen, heading straight for the coffee maker. That put him right beside Mark with no regard for personal space.

“Fuck yeah, I love a Starbucks that’s open early.” Josh filled the mug that Mark had set out on the counter before going over to the refrigerator. He disappeared behind the door for a long moment. “Awesome, I was worried there for a minute that all you had in here was beer.” Josh emerged with a small carton of milk, letting the door swing shut behind him. He topped off his mug, leaving the carton on the counter. He sipped gingerly before letting out a satisfied sigh.

“Forget something, did ya’?” Mark tapped the ashes off his cigarette in the sink. He let his gaze travel the length of the naked man standing beside him.

Taking another sip, Josh pushed the mop of hair out of his face. “Nah, I don’t need glasses to get a cup of coffee.” With a sleepy grin, he went back the way he came, presenting Mark with an unobstructed view of a rather fine ass. There appeared to be a tattoo on the left butt cheek, but Mark couldn’t make out what it was and he’d be damned if he’d ask. This time Josh maneuvered around the ottoman without mishap.

“I’ll start the plumbing work on the master bath in a bit.” Josh started up the stairs, mug secure between both hands.

“Hopefully with some fuckin’ clothes on, damn jarhead,” Mark muttered, yanking the cupboard open to find another mug.

“I heard that, dogface!” Josh tossed over his shoulder before he disappeared upstairs.

♥ I’m a guest author at Viki Lyn’s blog, Romance With a Twist today. I’ll be sharing a little bit about me and my newest release, Reckless Passion, as well as offering a chance to win digital copy of Reckless Seduction for those who leave a comment. Pop by and check it out.

Earthman’s Bride is about two young people and the choices they face, choices which will affect not only their own lives but the lives of an entire planet’s population—both the natives and aliens who live there.  The aliens are invaders—men from Earth who took over the planet to exploit and plunder its natural resources.  The natives are the people they have enslaved, forced now to work in the mines producing the ore which the Earthmen need, or become servants in the palace where they’ve taken up residence.  Only a few people on Tusteya are still free, and they live in the mountains like barbarians, attacking in small groups when the Earthmen venture out of Ulea City on patrol.  For thirty years, this war has continued.  Alcin Spearman was a twenty-year-old when it started.  He was the counselor of the Tusteyans, leader of the warrior caste.  Now, he’s fifty, father of nine children, and leader of the small band which still threatens the aliens.  Determined to end the war before another year goes by, he concocts a drastic plan:  he’ll ask for peace, sign a treaty with the hated aliens, and offer his only daughter Rebeka in marriage to the Terran leader to seal the agreement.  17-year-old Rebeka, faced with the fate of marrying a man and then killing him, agrees to her father’s plan, not because she wants to kill the Governor of Tusteya but because she truly feels she has no say in the matter.  Accompanied by Darius, a Terran android reprogrammed to protect her, she marries Philip Hamilcar, the alien leader, and immediately starts trying to find ways to keep from making herself a widow while bringing about the peace her father desires.

Philip Hamilcar is also young, the same age Alcin was when Philip’s father, the original Governor, landed with his forces.  When his father died, Philip was fifteen, and because none of the men in his father’s troops wanted the responsibility of becoming governor, the boy inherited his father’s position.  Only Alexander McIntyre, who had been the elder Hamilcar’s ensign, supported the teenager, becoming the power behind the throne.  Dominated by Alexander for the past six years, Philip does what his “uncle” tells him but secretly he’s begun to form opinions of his own as to how the captive people should be treated.

Upon meeting Philip, Alcin sees the potential for a strong and diplomatic ruler and thinks it a pity he has to die.  Nevertheless, he reminds Rebeka of what she has to do before he leaves her to her eager bridegroom.  Rebeka sees Philip as another young person forced into situations he doesn’t want by his elders.  She’s attracted to this young stranger who wields so much power in public while exhibiting extreme repression and shyness in private.  She encourages Philip to act of his feelings, especially those which concern her people.  Suddenly, Philip has an ally, someone his own age in whom he can confide, someone who doesn’t see him as a precocious child to be tolerated and then ignored.  Being young and male, he has fallen in lust with the young woman offered to him.  Within a day of knowing her, that lust has changed to love, a love which continues to grow and mature with each continuing minute he’s in her presence.  As for Rebeka, from the moment Philip takes her hand and walks with her into his garden, she’s lost…in the contradictions he represents…and the more she learns about Philip, the more determined she is that he isn’t going to die—especially by her hand…because she has come to love him, also.

Looking on as the two young people discover each other and their love, Darius the android represents a danger of which neither is aware.   Ordered to aid Rebeka in killing the Earthman, Darius has his own hidden agenda, for he is the ultimate creation of Artificial Intelligence—an android who can experience human emotion.  Darius can do more than experience emotion—he’s fallen in love with Rebeka  and is more than willing to bring about Philip’s death so he can have her for himself.

Suddenly, Rebeka is faced with the ultimate decision:  between two beings who profess to love her, and her choice will determine who will live and who will die and whether she’ll become a widow before she’s barely been a wife.

Earthman’s Bride is available as an  e-book from Lyrical Press.  www.lyricalpress.com.